Monday, March 30, 2009

Carter is 2 weeks old today!



We've had a good chance to settle in as a family this week as we've had guests stop by, but none staying at the house with us. I imagined that the days might go by slowly with the same routine over and over again, but time has actually flown by! I'm beginning to understand why people are always reminding us to enjoy every moment.



Most of Carter's life revolves around eating and sleeping right now (as does ours). He is sleeping wonderfully at night (fingers crossed that it lasts!) and one of my favorite times of the day is watching him wake up in the morning over 5-10 minutes with a wide array of facial expressions. I'm still trying to catch it on video, but haven't succeeded yet.




Last week we were commenting on how easy it was to keep him clean, but wow has that changed! We go through at least 3-4 outfits a day between getting milk on everything and oversoiling diapers. He's had a few 'exorcism' type spit-ups where we've had to start feeding all over again after he emptied his stomach - not a problem at 1pm, but at 2am...aarrgh!



He's getting stronger and stronger all the time (you can even hear it in the strength of his cry!) and is reliably gripping our fingers and looking into our eyes instead of past us. I still haven't found any games he likes as much as staring at shadows and swinging, but we continue to try new things.

I've been able to get out of the house to run some errands a couple of times this week and Hunter has done great with Carter - they seem to be two peas in a pod. I wish I had gotten a picture of Carter tied to him in the Moby wrap while we were walking yesterday - so precious!




We've started trying the cloth diapers - I love the concept and find that it doesn't create as much of a mess as you might suspect, but the big difference is in the bulkiness right now. He looks like an ant with a big bum in them, though he doesn't really seem to mind. We are going to continue trying different styles to see what works best.



I'll try to get the writer in the family to add the next update. He has had limited time lately due to his major gardening projects. We've been eating fresh asparagus every night for a week and will be overrun with vegetables this summer as long as the deer don't run over his fence to get to them!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Little Carter - Week 1













It is hard to believe, but our little Carter is one week old today! The last seven days have been a wonderful time of discovery for all of us. The little guy may have had me on edge for the first couple of days due to concerns about his jaundice and the resulting exhaustion from long feeding sessions while waiting for the milk to ‘come in’. But we are certainly back on track now. He is back to his normal birth weight as of today and is giving us more of a chance to sleep peacefully at night, but I’m still fighting the worry bug that the birth of your first child seems to instill in you. After I found myself unnecessarily waking at each hiccough and odd noise (of which newborns make a lot!) so I could watch over him for the first several nights, we got smart and put Hunter on the side of the bed where the cradle is located so I don’t have as much opportunity to drive myself crazy. Last night was the best yet – all three of us went to bed at the same time, I woke him for feeding sessions instead of him waking me, and he went back to sleep without much fanfare after each feeding – yeah!!


We’ve had four grandparents here visiting this week and countless pictures taken of the little ‘boy wonder’ (as one of his onesies says). Thanks to all of you for your help!!


As the weather has been getting nicer, I’ve enjoyed getting out for short walks down the road. I absolutely love carrying him in my shirt pouch, but since it was warmer today, we tried the Maya wrap for the first time – it is very soothing for both mother and baby to have such close contact and it is fantastic to have the use of both of my arms instead of only one.


After such an incredible week, we are anxious to see what week #2 will bring. I am certainly excited that my exercise restrictions of not going up/down the stairs and of not driving will be lifted. However, we may not start taking Carter out for visitations for another 2-3 weeks at the pediatrician’s suggestion, but are happy to have periodic visitors here at home.

Thank you for all of the well wishes – we’ll write more next Monday, if not sooner….

A link to a few of the photos taken at the hospital before we left…..http://www.our365.com/NewbornPortraits/BabyDetail.aspx?birthid=71ed73e0-46a8-4c32-b8b0-fe41176929ef










Thursday, March 19, 2009

Missing in Action for 3 Days!








Last time on "At the Tabony's Crib".... Hunter wrote "Don't worry, we'll be back with more details on the birth as soon as we get rested up."








Ha. Ha. Rested? What is this strange foreign word? We will never speak of it again. Clearly, this is never going to happen. We thought we were busy before. Again, hahahaha! Or should I say "Aha!"? This is why all our parents are crazy. Everyone ponders what it is that made them that way... when the answer to that question stares back out of the mirror every morning.

Where was I? Oh yes, the birth story. So, Cierra's motto is "I will not be stopped." Sunday, three days before her due date, she had on her calendar an all-day conference in Greensboro, NC, around a 2 hour drive from our house. Knowing Cierra's motto, I was not going to be able to keep her from going, so I slipped into protector mode and offered to drive her. True to Murphy's Law, during the morning session she discovered that her chair was wet, but she held off until the lunch break to call me in from the car and let me know. Then she had me sit and watch her have lunch with the other veterinarians and trade gossip back and forth for half an hour. Finally I said, "Woman! If we are not on the road for home in 5 minutes, your water won't be the only thing around here that's broken!" Well, I didn't exactly say that out loud, I tapped it out in Morse Code on her leg under the table. Once we were in the car, I felt much better. Cierra wasn't in any pain and I was excited... in the next little while I would meet my son!

We got home and Cierra puttered around the house, trying to keep moving and encourage the onset of labor and was rewarded with light contractions. We started timing them, and were encouraged to find that some of them were 60 seconds long. We even started to think that these were real contractions. Ha. We would meet those very soon.

Here's a little hint for anyone who is going to go through this process anytime soon. They tell you that when a woman goes from early labor into the real first stage, she will go from excited to serious... so I was analyzing her behavior for little signs that she was serious. I thought that maybe she was. But the forces at work here are not subtle. I think that what the textbook should have printed was "she will go from excited to SERIOUS" This is not "I am serious, clean out the garage before you play golf." This is a whole new level. A complete personality transplant. Shades of gray need not apply.

So anyway, I hadn't recieved that hint and began to get anxious that maybe we were really progressing. Some of the contractions were 90 seconds long and had started to become painful. I called our doula, Jennifer, and she headed over to our house.

I should pause here to explain something quickly. After copious research, Cierra decided that she wanted to attend classes in the Bradley Method of childbirth. Briefly, this is a birthing method that encourages women to be coached through natural childbirth by their husband-coach, forgoing all medical intervention unless medically necessary. I would never have sought this out... not only is it not mainstream, but it is a big time investment... 24 hours of instruction over 12 weeks. Plus, being the husband-coach sounded like a lot of pressure and responsibility, during which I might have to faint or glimpse blood, most likely not in that order. But after attending the classes I was fully on board and excited to have our birth be a Bradley Method Experience. Jennifer was our teacher and we felt that we could really benefit our birth experience by hiring her as our doula, a person who acts as an experienced supporter and guide during labor and birth... kind of like a midwife without the medical training.

Jennifer arrived around 10pm and we labored for several hours. We took turns applying counterpressure to Cierra's back. The contractions were getting more intense. When a hot water bottle proved too difficult to apply, a microwaved tube sock full of dried beans became a good way to help relieve some pain. Due to a tiny hole in my sock, it was also a good way to spread uncooked beans around the house, some of which we are still finding.

We labored all over the house... up and down the stairs, in the bed, on an exercise ball, on the floor, in a chair. Cierra put her head down and powered through the intensifying discomfort. Finally, around 3 am we decided that we should call the hospital and head in to deliver. We packed up the cars quickly as Cierra began to report an increasing pressure in her tailbone, and I drove over 70 mph with a hand on her leg as she moaned, sure that if I let up on the accelerator during the 15 minute drive, she would end up delivering in the car and seriously damaging my psyche and the resale value. We got there and they checked Cierra, then told her she was dilated to 2 centimeters.

We were shocked. 8, 6 centimeters was what I was expecting. 4 would have been a disappointment. 2 was like heartbreak. We thought we were seeing the finish line, but it was just one of those tables where they throw Gatorade at you and tell you to get back on the course. Tests for amniotic fluid came back negative... so the water was likely unbroken... and with such little dilation, the hospital wasn't even sure we were in labor (of course, we knew it was the real thing). They had us walk the halls in the maternity center for an hour, Cierra crumpling against the wall in pain as we helped her through each contraction. At the end of the hour, we checked her again... 2 to 3. A measurable change, but barely. Whoop-de-doo. Given the option of admittance or going home to labor in a more comfortable environment, we chose the latter and headed home. I fixed eggs for all three of us and then it was time to regroup.

We were all exhausted and so we were very happy to oblige when Cierra decided that she wanted to get in bed and labor for a while. She slept between the contractions and I slept beside her while Jennifer napped on our couch. After one or two hours of this we woke reinvigorated to the double-edged discovery that Cierra's contractions had reintensified. After a few hours of very difficult labor, I was relieved to hear Cierra say "I don't know how we're going to do this."

Wait. I know some of you are saying, "Hunter, you jerk! You're supposed to be her coach and you're happy to hear her doubting herself?" Well, the reason I was so happy to hear that is that the emotional signpost of late first stage labor is going from SERIOUS to self-doubt. I pointed this out to Jennifer and we took off for the hospital again, this time Cierra astride the backseat in Jennifer's minivan as the increased pressure in her tailbone kept her from sitting down.

In the hospital, one of the more experienced nurses recognized the signs of Cierra's progression and swooped in to save us from the reception desk/triage process (imagine a bored person asking about whether there's diabetes in your family history while you're crumpled on the floor, writhing in agony) . She took us straight to a birthing room and set us up with a fantastic nursing staff, Ruth and Jillian. They monitored the baby's heart rate which was right where we wanted it to be. Things began to happen very quickly once the doctor showed up. Cierra was 8 centimeters at that point, and the doctor offered to speed things up by breaking her water. Cierra only cared about getting it done quickly at that point, so we said "by all means."

What followed was the most difficult hour of the whole process. When the water broke, Cierra's body said "OK. It is now time to push." But the hospital will not allow you to push and it is not a good idea to push until you are dialated the full 10 cm. Now, I have not experienced this urge firsthand. But it appears to me that telling a woman in this stage not to push is like telling a drowning person "just breathe the water!" Apparently, blowing raspberries is the only way to stop yourself from pushing and Cierra understood this but she started to panic in the intensity of the moment. She blew some raspberries but then started to fall out of the rhythm of deep breath, blow it out, another deep breath, and in the agony and confusion started to push.

It's hard to explain the depth of this part of the experience. Cierra's one of the most self-assured, self-controlled people I know. But the force of nature that was telling her to push and the pain of the incredible pressure in her back was reducing her to some instinctual nature that just wanted to run away from all the agony there on that hospital bed. Her legs thrashed and her back arched as she tried to levitate away from the pain. I had to do whatever I could to help her from outside that pain, so I leaned in as close as I could and blew each raspberry with her, and when she faltered, I told her she could do it and how close she was to being done.

Finally she was checked for the final time and told that she was ready to push. She didn't waste any time... she pushed, and HARD. I've never seen anyone put that much effort into anything... it was like watching one of those strongman competitions where one guy pulls a school bus with the emergency brake on. After 15 or 20 minutes of pushing with Jennifer holding one leg and me on the other, out popped a little head quickly followed by a warm, wet body. As he started to wail, I turned into a sobbing mess, so grateful that we'd made it and that we were meeting our son for the very first time.

Jennifer was invaluable... I know we would not have done this without her. Thank you so much Jennifer! For everyone out there who thinks we are crazy for having done this Bradley method thing and that this sounds like torture to you, I completely understand where you are coming from and that's what I would have thought too before I found out more about it. It's really too much to get into here, but Cierra and I are very glad that we did it this way. If you are focused on wanting to achieve a natural non-Cesarian birth then the statistics of the Bradley Method outcomes versus the mainstream outcomes are really hard to ignore. That's the main reason why we did it, and we got the results we were looking for. Having gone through this experience together made me feel closer to Cierra than ever before. And Cierra bounced back so quickly I was simply amazed...

And it wasn't just me. Each of the medical professionals who worked with us during the birth came back to us during our short stay at the hospital and told us that it was an inspirational birth for them and how impressed they were with Cierra's strength and courage during delivery. For one of them, having worked in the unit for 6 weeks, we were the first natural childbirth she had witnessed, and she was really happy to have such a positive introduction to it.

Wow, this is really long. For those of you still hanging on, congrats. I must go to bed... we'll add some more of how we're doing with Carter tomorrow.

Monday, March 16, 2009






Howdy, all friends and family! Announcing the arrival of Carter Loga Tabony, born today at 1:27 pm at 7.5 lbs and 19 inches long. I haven't had meaningful rest since Saturday night so this blog entry is going to be extremely short, but here are a couple of shots of the momentous event.
And I typed a lot more here, but this stupid laptop went and lost it all. I am in a losing battle with technology today. And it is time to sleep... Cierra and I are so excited to share this news with you. Once we're a little rested up, we'll come back and provide a more detailed account of Carter's arrival on Earth.



Sunday, March 8, 2009

Off Work and Waiting.....








Cierra here! I drove home in an unusual Charlotte snow Sunday night - my last official day of work - it was spectacular to wake up Monday morning to a beautiful snow day and know that I didn't have to worry about going or being anywhere.









We've spent most of this week cleaning and finishing up preparations for the new arrival. The official 'due date' is March 18th, but since he's held on this long, I won't be surprised if it is later - we'll all just have to wait and see!








Hunter has continued to do a great job cooking for Cierra and baby - here he is making a homemade pizza.









Despite having the biggest snow in Charlotte in about 6 years earlier this week, the last couple of days have felt like spring and we've had fun taking more belly pics outside...







I'm going to aim for posting updates every Monday, so continue to check in, but bear with us while we are learning how the whole thing works!