Sunday, April 5, 2009

Feedback from Carter

Good morning. I'm Carter Tabony. I am feeling fine. How are you? Could you move your face a little bit closer please? That's great. Now hold still...


This moment has been brought to you by "The Exorcist". Seriously, there's nothing like Mom's milk... sometimes I bring a bottle or two back up just to see what it tastes like going the other direction.



So, week 3 of this "life" thing and I'm still not sure about it all. Sleep, poop, eat, repeat. Boooring. To spice things up a bit, I'm adding some screaming in when I feel like it. Parents still have me sequestered in this house, when I'm just itching to get out and see the world, maybe get a job somewhere down in Latin America... I hear they're not so strict on age requirements. Hmpf. Stupid ageists.



Finally, the tedium broke yesterday when I had a visitor I could actually relate to! My friend Adelaide came by for a couple of hours. Could have been a really cool time, but Mom ruined it by putting me in a milk coma.





Chairman: Baby Conference 2009 is hereby called to order.



Adelaide: Chairman, point of order!



Yes?



Adelaide: Carter is asleep and therefore we do not have quorum. I move we adjourn and proceed directly to our next feeding.



Do we have a second to this motion?



Carter: Zzzzzz.



Milk. Mmmm. It controls my life. I'm always thinking about it, where I'm going to get my next hit. Then I score and it's lights out for hours, and I wake up jonesing for the white stuff again. Time to admit it. I think I have a problem. Gotta see if theres like a twelve step program out there for me.


The furry beast that shares this place with me keeps getting closer. Yesterday she sat down with me on my play pad. Strangely, I don't think she was interested in me so much. It's like she's always trying to get the attention of the parents.

I keep showing her the only way is to scream but she won't do it.








Anyway. There just isn't that much to tell you guys. Mom's pretty great, she's good at giving me what I like. Then there's Dad. Boy, is he dense. I keep ramming my face into his chest, trying to give him a hint, but he just bounces me around on his knee more and more. Finally, I have to feign sleep so he'll give it a rest before I hurl again.















Sleep, Eat, Barf, Eat, Poop, Repeat. Booring.

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