How to be like Carter

Howdy folks. Carter here. Welcome to the baby gun show! Yeah, I'm buffing up for the ladies... I like the older women, anywhere from 9 months to the seniors. When they tickle my toes and pinch my cheeks, it sets my world on fire.

Anyway, lots of you who would like to do better with the fairer sex have written in to ask how I've been reeling them in. So I thought I would let you in on a few details of my routine. I like to start off every morning with 50 or so pushups. I'd do more, but I can't quite get my butt off the floor. Then I eat 5 raw eggs. Well, I would if mom would let me. Instead, she eats 2 cooked eggs, then I get some milk. So it's kinda like eating filtered eggs.


Every day, I take a nice long walk. You've got to get your excercise! Now, some of you might be saying that I'm not actually walking while strapped to mom. To those folks, I say, you've obviously never had to hold my baby head up while being bounced around in a giant sling. Trust me, it's exercise.

Ask all the ladies, 75 percent of the attraction is in the face. So I've got to start taking care of my skin now before the sun damage kicks in. I give myself a facial daily. It's very easy to do... just burp up breakfast and slap your face down in it.

Oh, yeah. I can feel it working. I am going to be irresistible!

Anyway, all this hard work is paying off in spades. I can sit straight up in my stroller now and look out for that Pogo on the floor or see where I can aim my binky when I throw it overboard. I get extra points if I get it in Pogo's bowl or if Dad has to move furniture when he's retrieving it.

Here I am sitting up by myself. Mom cut out the part where I fell over backwards, but that's why Dad's sitting next to me... I told her that I meant to do it, that's what trust falls are all about!
I've also discovered a giant yet rather tasteless lollipop affixed to my exer-saucer. If I can just figure out how to keep it in my mouth while I push the noise buttons, I'm set for life! This is also excellent exercise for building arm tone.

And for leg strength, I try to spend about 45 minutes a day in my jumperoo. I'm getting so good at it, Dad had to set it up for level 2 just yesterday.

So remember, you too can make time with the ladies by following these simple steps. Oh, and it doesn't hurt to be a really cute baby.